Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue Hit Me Up if Your Thick and Easy
Animaniacs (1993–1998)
Miles: Be gone, pests, and give me the bird.
Yakko: We'd love to, really, but the Fox censors won't allow it.
Miss Flamiel: Yakko, can you conjugate?
Yakko: Who? Me? I've never even kissed a girl!
Miss Flamiel: No, it's very simple. I'll conjugate with you.
Yakko: Good night, everybody!
Brain: Pinky, are you pondering what I'm pondering?
Pinky: I think so Brain, but if Jimmy cracks corn and nobody cares, why does he keep doing it?
Brain: Promise me something, Pinky. Never breed.
[Yakko's just sung a song listing eight of the nine planets of the solar system]
Yakko Warner: There you go, that's our solar system.
Wakko Warner: You forgot Uranus.
Yakko Warner: [blowing a kiss to the audience] Good NIGHT, everybody.
Dot: Roses are red, violets are blue / That's what they say, but it just isn't true / Roses are red, and apples are, too / But violets are violet, violets aren't blue / An orange is orange, but Greenland's not green / A pinky's not pink, so what does it mean? / To call something blue when it's not, we defile it / But what the heck, it's hard to rhyme violet.
[the Warners are singing a Christmas song]
Dot: [singing] The stockings were hung so our names clearly showed
Wakko: [singing] In the hopes that old Santa would leave a big load.
Yakko: [blows a kiss to the audience] Good NIGHT, everybody.
Yakko: Wait a minute. You expect us poor, innocent children to climb up dangerous scaffolding and paint naked people all over a church?
Wakko,Yakko,Dot: We'll do it.
Yakko: But we're not doing it for art. We're not doing it for the sake of money. No! We're doing it because we love painting naked people.
Satan: And now prepare to suffer indescribable torment.
Yakko: Another Bob Hope special?
Miss Flamiel: Dot, what can you tell me about the scientists of the 1800's?
Dot: They're all dead.
Miss Flamiel: No, no, no.
Dot: Ok, they're all living?
Miss Flamiel: No, no, no!
Yakko: Well, now we're getting into philosophy.
Yakko: We'd love to stay here and count our brain cells as they die one-by-one.
Dot: But we can't.
[Dot has just forgotten her line after about twenty tries and lets out a stream of obscenities]
Yakko: That was my cute little sister who said that.
Brain: Pinky! Are you pondering what I'm pondering?
Pinky: I think so Brain but how will we get the Spice Girls into the paella?
Ned Flat: Why are you acting like this?
Yakko: We're not acting. We really are like this.
Dot: Don't look down. You might fall and hit your head and die and your brains would leak out alllllll over.
Brain: It must be inordinately taxing to be such a boob.
Brain: I'd say puberty was inordinately kind to you.
Dot: Nice decorating. Let me guess, Satan?
Man: Do you know who I am?
Yakko: Why? Did you forget?
Dot: Little Miss Muffet. Little Miss Muffet sat on her tuffet / And boy what a big tuffet she had! If you're feeling insecure, just sit next to her / And then you won't feel quite so bad. Thank you.
Yakko: [upon entering the underworld]
[in a trance/flatly]
Yakko: all is strange and vague...
Dot: [tranced/flatly] Are we dead?
Yakko: [tranced/flatly] Or is this Ohio...
Yakko: Early to rise and early to bed/Makes a man healthy, but socially dead.
Yakko: Alas, poor Yorik!
Dot: [translating] Woah! Check out Skull Head.
Yakko: I knew him Horatio: A fellow of infinite jest, of most excellent fancy.
Dot: [translating] He was funny.
Yakko: He hath borne me on his back a thousand times.
Dot: [translating] He gave me piggy back rides.
Yakko: And now, how abhorred in my imagination it is! My gorge rises at it.
Dot: [translating] I'm going to blow chunks.
Yakko: [kisses Skull Head] Here hung those lips that I have kissed I know not how oft.
Dot: [translating] We kissed a lot. NOT!
Yakko: Where be your gibes now? Your gamboles? Your songs? Your flashes of merriment that were wont to set the table on a roar?
Dot: [translating] How come you're not funny now?
Yakko: Not one now to mock your own grinning? Quite chap-fallen?
Dot: [translating] No one's laughing now and by the way your lower jaw's missing
Yakko: Now get you to my lady's chamber, and tell her, let her paint an inch thick, to this favor she must come; make her laugh at that.
Dot: [translating] Follow that woman and tell her no matter how much make up she wears, she's still going to croak and end up looking just like you, and see if she laughs.
Yakko: Prithee, Horatio, tell me one thing.
Dot: What'd you find in the hole?
Wakko: Our next cartoon.
Slappy: Skippy. You shoulda been asleep hours ago.
Skippy: I know, Aunt Slappy, but I can't sleep. I keep hearing Santa's sleigh.
Slappy: Ehhhh, that's just the LAPD choppers.
Yakko: Did you know that there's "P.P." on your smock?
Dot: Disgusting!
Stewardess: Welcome to Air Pacific, the Jolly Airline. Our deluxe 757 is equipped with a number of safety features to use in case of an emergency, such as our fuel tanks explode, and we crash like a fiery ball into the sea. You'll find life jackets under your seats. In the event of a water landing, they will keep you afloat, unless you are seized by a giant squid, and dragged screaming beneath the waves. Thank you for choosing Air Pacific. You have well over a forty percent chance of landing safely. Enjoy your flight.
Satan: Beyond these doors is an agony worse than all others. You will remain in here for eternity listening to... whiny protest songs from the Sixties.
Yakko Warner: We protest you calling us "little kids". We prefer to be called "vertically-impaired pre-adults".
Girth Plotz: We meet again, Princess.
Dot: That's Princess Angelina Contessa Louisa Francesca Banana Fanna Lay Onna Pile Of Origami the Third. But you can call me Dot.
Hello Nurse: How come I always get the booby prize?
Dot: I'm not touching that one!
[repeated lines]
Pinky: What are we going to do tonight brain?
Brain: The same thing we do every night, Pinky: try to take over the world!
Pinky: I think so, Brain, but isn't Regis Philbin already married?
Yakko: Is this you? Are you happily engrossed in inconsequential cartoon trivia to the point that your socks can probably stand up by themselves?
Wakko: Hey, mister, what's this?
Ivan Bloski: A vomit bag.
Wakko: Ah, poo. I got gypped. There's none in here.
Dot: All we know is that we like you. We have no taste, but we like you.
Wakko: So what are we going to get Dr. Scratchy?
Dot: Ooooooh, how about an outfit from Oedipus Rex Men's Wear?
Yakko: Nah, his mom would hate those.
Dot: Do you think Scratchy'd like some cologne?
Fifi: We have Obsession, Repression, and Ecstacy.
Dot: Do you have anything for beginners?
Dr. Scratchensniff: Dot, would you care to give it a try? But, I'd like you to make a little curtsey.
Dot: Thanks, but I did before I left home.
Yakko: And the moral of today's story is: If you can't say something nice, you're probably at the Ice Capades.
Pinky: Whatcha doin' over there, Brain?
Brain: Contemplating your afterlife, Pinky.
Slappy: If I were a better person, I'd ignore her and go on with my life. But I'm not.
Wakko: Dear Santa, I have been ever so good this year. I would like a new mallet and a shiny brass anvil.
Dot: Requiem for a Lamb: Mary had a little lamb / With mint jelly. Thank you.
Mr. Director: Where are you kids going?
Yakko: Jan Murray's house?
Mr. Director: You kids are going to be in my movie.
Warners: Movie?
Mr. Director: Who were you talking to?
Wakko: The people watching us on TV.
Mr. Director: Peoples? What peoples?
[peering really close to the camera]
Mr. Director: HELLO, NICE PEOPLE IN THE TV!
Yakko: Remember kids, Yakko spelled backwards is Okkay!
Brain: I am not devoid of humor.
Yakko,Wakko: [singing to La Macarena] Dot is a nut, so we call her Macademia / She's touched in the head and kooky in the brain-ia / All the lines in this song sound pretty much the same-ia / Oy, Macademia!
Beethoven: I am Ludwig Van Beethoven, world famous composer and pianist.
Yakko: You're a what?
Beethoven: A pianist.
Yakko: [blows a kiss] Goodnight, everybody!
Beethoven: But that is what I am. A pianist.
Yakko: I think we've heard enough out of you.
Yakko: [whenever he catches an innuendo] Good Night Everybody!
Wakko: I think we deserve a spanking, right on our fanny.
Brain: Pinky, are you pondering what I'm pondering?
Pinky: I think so, Brain, but where are we gonna find a tattoo parlor that's open at this time of night?
Brain-2-Me-2: This is it, Pinky-O, our moment of truth. Are you pondering what I'm pondering?
3-Pinky-0: Um, I think so, Brain-2, but a show about two talking lab mice? Huh, it'll never get on the air.
Slappy: Look, have I ever lied to you before?
Skippy: You said keno is legal in Burbank.
Slappy Wanna Nappy: The studio of Mos Eisner... You'll never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy. So be careful, we're going in without an agent.
Yakko, Wakko & Dot: [singing] We're from Sal Monella's coffee shop/Eat our food and you're bound to drop/Then the only thing that's left to do/Head to the potty and spew spew spew!/Sal Monella's!
Girth Plotz: [after Wakko eats his paperweight] Give me back my paperweight!
Wakko: Okay, but you'll have to wait a while.
Miss Flamiel: Find your seats!
Yakko: [showing his butt] Got my seat.
Wakko: [showing his butt] Got mine.
Dot: [showing her butt] Here's mine.
Yakko: [to Miss Flamiel] Bet you don't have trouble finding yours.
Dr. Scratchensniff: [Showing Dot how to make a curtsey] Make a little curtsey. A CURTSEY!
Yakko,Wakko: [Yakko and Wakko laughing and imitating Dr Scratchensniff] Make a little curtsey. A CURTSEY.
Dr. Scratchensniff: Stop with the fun at me.
Yakko: Then please stop being so funny.
Baloney: [singing The Imagine Song] I is for Imagine, M is for Me, A is for the letter A , G is for G. I is for Imagine, N is for Nice. E is for Egad, I said imagine twice!
Yakko: [sarcastically] Wow, great song.
Baloney: Thanks. Let's hug!
Yakko: Uh, why don't you just imagine that too?
Yakko: But let this be a lesson to all. For wherever there is belching...
Wakko,Dot,Yakko: We'll be there!
Yakko: Wherever there is stupidity...
Wakko,Dot,Yakko: We'll be there!
Yakko: Wherever there is candy...
Wakko: We'll be there a lot quicker.
Pinky: I think so Brain, but I can't memorize a whole opera in Yiddish!
Mr. Director: Hoyl! How'd you... with the going... you were there... but here now... you are... for me to see... how'd you do...
Yakko: You understand any of that?
Wakko: I think he said: "Hoyl! How'd you... with the going... you were there... but here now... you are... for me to see... how'd you do...
Yakko: Thanks for clearing that up.
Ivan Bloski: Shhh. Shhh. Do you know what that means?
Yakko: You got a slow leak?
Dot: Um, it's not that we wouldn't like to take your survey...
Yakko: It's more like we'd rather have dental surgery.
Satan: Stop peeping!
Warners: Peep! Peep! Peep! Peep! Peep! Peep!
Woman: Well. I never.
Slappy: Well, you should, it's fun.
Slappy: In most cases, revenge is not a good thing. In other cases, it's the only thing.
Warners: [singing] Yakko is a yakker, Wakko is a snacker, Dot's plain cute, so's this boot.
Dot: Call me "Dottie", and you die!
Yakko: [very loudly] ALL RIGHT! IN THIS SCENE...
Mr. Director.: Oy! Too loud! Make with the whisper! Don't with the loud-maker-talk!
Dot: The poem that I wrote. This is the poem that I wrote. These are the words that are in the poem that I wrote. This is the mouth that's saying the words that are in the poem that I wrote. This is the person who has the mouth that's saying the words that are in the poem that I wrote. This is the audience that would do anything to shut up the person who has the mouth that's saying the words that are in poem that I wrote. This is the TV show that tortures the audience until they would do anything to shut up the person that has the mouth that's saying the words that are in the poem that I wrote. This...
Runt: My name's Runt, but my master calls me Stupid. What a nice guy.
Yakko: [reciting "A Midsummer Night's Dream"] For I am an honest Puck...
Dot: [translating] I'm not touching that one!
Einstein: You... you... you...
Yakko: No, THIS is a ewe; we're just plain old us.
Dot: I'm going to hurt my brother badly.
Yakko: Don't worry, siblings. We'll sell that nice man a box of cookies, or die trying. Or try dying. Or do some tie-dyeing.
Yakko: You'll never live to regret it.
Death: [Swedish accent]
[terms for checkers game]
Death: I win... Wakko goes with me. You win, you get to stay together forever. Agreed?
Yakko: [dot and yakko are dazed and in a trance]
[speaking flatly]
Yakko: We Accept...
Dot: [flatly also] To accept is to Yield...
Yakko: To yield is to allow on-coming traffic the right of way...
Dot: Your breath is like the breeze off a land fill...
Yakko: Food particles are wedged between your teeth...
[Yakko and Dot snap out of trance and Start dancing]
Brain: Pinky are you thinking what I'm thinking?
Pinky: I think so Brain but where are we going to find rubber pants our size?
Brain: It proved that radio was a powerful tool. And now, Pinky, the advance of technology has brought us an even more powerful tool. Do you know what that is?
Pinky: Ummm... the rubber band?
Brain: Pinky, are you pondering what I'm pondering?
Pinky: I think so, Brain, but if we didn't have ears we'd look like weasels.
Brain: Pinky, are you pondering what I'm pondering?
Pinky: I think so, Brain, but burlap chafes me so.
Dot: Jack Sprat could eat no fat, so he became macrobiotic and an enormous pain in the neck.
Howie Tern: I am Howie Tern! I'm a big star! I'm a household name!
Yakko: So is the Mister Tidy Bowl man. Are you related?
Dot: What's death like, Wakko?
Wakko: Pretty boring. I've already hummed all the songs I know.
Wakko: I'm not wearing any pants!
Dot: Oh, oh, my heart aches with the sorrow of a thousand scouts. No merit badge. I mourn my loss.
Yakko: Say, those acting classes are really paying off.
Yakko: Wait. You're forgetting something.
Umlatt: What?
Yakko: Well, being an evil villain, you are contractually required to explain your plan before you get rid of us.
Yakko: Call it a hunch, sibs, but I think we've been abducted by aliens.
Dot: Aliens? What'll we do?
Wakko: Go find the cafeteria?
Yakko,Dot: Yeah.
Brain: The workings of your mind are a mystery to me.
Pinky: Hmmm... let me think...
Brain: Don't hurt yourself, Pinky.
Brain: Pinky, are you pondering what I'm pondering?
Pinky: I think so, Brain, but where are we going to find a duck and a garden hose at this time of night?
Dot: [shouts] No way! I'm the only one who's supposed to be cute on this show!
Wakko: I never get to get it.
Brain: Do you realize what we will do with this pollen, Pinky?
Pinky: Ummm... open a boutique?
Brain: Yes, that's it. We'll open a boutique and sell ladies' clothing and pollen.
Slappy: I'm gonna make you some brain food. That's right, I'm gonna make you my famous walnut fig dough surprise.
Skippy: What's the surprise?
Slappy: I'm outta walnuts.
Owner: I want a pet who'll come when I call and cuddle me when I've had a bad day.
Rita: Have a kid, lady.
Wakko: Hello, lady in a tree.
Wakko: Can you pull a rabbit out of your pants?
Yakko: Well, we've decided. In outer space it's okay to wear white shoes after Labor Day.
A Crowd: Shhh.
Yakko: What, are you leaky tires?
Dot: My five-year mission is to seek out new worlds and make them cuter.
Brain-2-Me-2: I've told you, I am not a refrigerator. I am a laboratory robot engaged in an intricate scheme of galactic domination.
Wakko: Wanna see me make bubbles with my spit?
Yakko: Sure do. In fact, that's the theme of our next show.
Dot: So don't miss it.
Man: Hey! You can't eat that!
Wakko: Needs salt.
[closing line]
Slappy: Now that's comedy!
Howie Tern: Oh yeah these kids think they're really cute.
Dot: I can't help it if I'm cute.
[smooch then spits and gags]
Dot: He's got gingivitis.
Yakko: You know, you'd make a fortune renting your head out as a balloon.
Brain: Yes, of course! Pinky, are you pondering what I'm pondering?
Pinky: I think so, Brain, but bein' Pippi Longstocking, I mean, what would the children look like?
Dot: I'm a little teapot, short and stout. Here is my handle, here is my spout. Here is note from my therapist saying I'm getting better. Last week I thought I was a toaster.
[tugs on ears and laughs insanely]
Wakko,Yakko: We're the Warner brothers.
Dot: And the Warner sister.
Yakko: Who's the ham on rye?
Dan Anchorman: That's me!
Yakko: Remember, you said that. We didn't.
Dot: I'm famished.
[Dot grabs the sandwich and bites into it]
Dan Anchorman: How dare you take a bite out of my sandwich!
Dot: You want it back?
Howie Tern: Now listen up, America. If you just tuned in, I've go three kids in here who think they're funnier than the great Howie Tern. You know what I say to that? burp
Wakko: That's not a burp.
Howie Tern: Oh no?
Wakko: Nope. BELCH! That's a burp.
Pinky: What do you want to do tonight, Rita?
Rita: I don't know, eat you for supper?
[Rita snatches Pinky up and eats him alive]
Rita: So far, this is my favorite episode!
Pinky: Narf! Oh, roomy accommodations, Rita.
Yakko,Wakko,Dot: Wheel of morality turn turn turn. Tell us the lesson that we should learn!
Clown: When the whippoorwill/ Whippoors in the wind / The wind can whippoor back / O nice and chubby baby!
Randy Beaman's Pal: One time, OK, one time Randy Beaman's brother ate pop rocks and drank a soda and his head exploded! Ok, bye!
Pinky: Egad. You astound me, Brain.
Brain: That's a simple task, Pinky.
Slappy: The pleasure's been all yours, I'm sure.
Slappy: Oh, not the dynamite in the cake bit again. Who'd sink so low?
Einstein: If the sun is P, and gravity is H, it makes a Phhhhhh...
Colin: OK, so, one time Randy Beaman's cat ate this fish from the fish tank but the fish was a piranha, it lived inside the cat forever, and the cat became Piranha Cat. 'Kay, bye.
Wakko,Yakko,Dot: Wheel of Morality, turn, turn, turn, and tell us the lesson that we should learn.
Yakko: Free trip to Tahiti.
All: Cheers.
Dot: Mr. President? Get to work.
Dan Anchorman: I placed this order an hour ago! Are your out of your minds?
Yakko: No, but we're out of our pickles. You'll have to take coleslaw.
Yakko: Nice wig you got there.
Wakko: Does Cher know you're borrowing it?
Howie Tern: Stop laughing at them.
Robin: Ok I'm sorry.
Yakko: Ooo, I like her.
Howie Tern: What kind of fool do you take me for?
Wakko,Yakko,Dot: Ooo ooo! I know, I know! Let me answer! Come on!
Howie Tern: That's pretty funny coming from a kid who looks like a demented monkey.
Pesto: Hey, Bobby knows this industry.
[He kicks Squit off a perch]
Squit: Hey! What'd I do?
Pesto: Nothing. I just felt like whackin' something.
Brain: Pinky are you pondering what I'm pondering?
Pinky: I think so Brain but why would anyone want to pierce Bronson?
Colin: One time, ok, see, one time Randy Beeman's brother ate Pop Rocks and drank a soda at the same time and his head exploded. 'Kay, bye.
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Source: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0105941/quotes/qt0480932
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